I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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