i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm at about main and main street
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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