Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
