He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
