I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
