Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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