when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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