I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
