It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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