I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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