i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
