i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
