He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
