do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
