the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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