why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
