i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
