I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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