I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
