i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
accomplished twins. life is a go
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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