his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
