Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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