Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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