we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize