Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
