I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
