dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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