yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
operation harelip BJ is a go
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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