They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
