so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
