Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
