uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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