I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
