Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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