I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
