weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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