sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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