I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
