Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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