she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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