You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How does it feel to date your dad?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i out mim tonsoeep
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