There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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