remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize