apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
