we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
