I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
zippers are such a cool invention
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
