well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
