Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
