thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
