Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
