Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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