when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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