Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
