I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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