ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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