I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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