Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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