Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize