i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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