it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize