proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
