he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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