what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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