I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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