I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
