When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
