My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
