Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
