Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
